You’ve probably had someone you imagined you’re going to spend your life forever with, who turned out to be well, not the one. Breakups are tough. Most of us have been there. That phase when you just got out of a serious romantic relationship where you start to question “where did it all go wrong?”, “am I not enough?” or “what should I do with my life now?”.
Breakups are hell, that’s for sure. No matter how strong you think you might be, heartbreaks are just shattering and difficult to deal with. While each one of us handles pain differently, there are ways that can help you in terms of processing the loss little by little:
1. Acknowledge your feelings.
The pain of loss is very real, and it is totally fine to feel and process that grief the healthy way you know how. Crying, wanting to be left alone, or feeling not as motivated is totally normal. Let it sink in that someone dear and special to your heart is not there anymore in a romantic capacity. It is going to hurt like hell, as it should because you truly love that person.
Cry your heart out, listen to that sad love song, or reminisce all the memories you had. That’s totally fine. There’s no correct way to process your grief and heartbreak. The only thing you need to know now is you have to acknowledge, accept, process and deal with your emotions. Running away from your own feelings or suppressing them is not going to help.
2. Confide to your friends or loved ones.
You do not have to process the pain alone. Your friends are ready to listen. You can totally use the friendship card right now to go whining, complaining and narrating over and over why you’re hurt, angry or frustrated. The most important thing you should keep in mind is that people are always willing to lend a hand and listen if you ask for help. You do not need to face it all alone. Talking it out to someone you trust can actually help you digest what happened, and maybe even analyze what went wrong. Do not be afraid to share your human experience to someone.
3. Come to terms with your post-breakup phase.
There would be days when you’d just feel less productive, unmotivated and downright lazy. You would prefer staying in bed all day and even skip a meal. Or you might lose some sleep even. But you can also make a plan in terms of still taking good care of your well-being, and creating a calming space for your mental health and broken heart.
There are ways that can totally help you deal with your not so good days. Embrace these lazy days because you’re basically allowed to have ’em, especially right now. Here are some stuff to elevate your lazy days and help you feel better:
Weighted blankets are designed to help relieve stress and create a feeling of calmness by providing pressure on the body. But you have to be really informed from a medical standpoint before purchasing one, as there are safety risks in some very rare cases. But if you happen to have a go signal from your doctor or therapist, go and improve your sleep or relaxation time by purchasing a quality weighted blanket.
Aromatherapy is always a good idea to create a place of calm and peace. Try incorporating some scented candles and humidifier into your room, which you can buy on Shopee:
Catch up on some good reads. These two books illustrated and written by Soo-hyun Kim will definitely give you a lot of “love myself” lessons.
Get spiritual lessons and answer the question “What on Earth Am I Here For?“.
Get yourself entertained with some binge-worthy series on Netflix. With its second season still on-going, you’ll love K-drama series “Hospital Playlist”, which is about the friendship of five doctors who despite their busy hospital duties, still find time to spend quality time with each other! And spoiler to those who haven’t watched: they are a great band!
If you want a good laugh, “Friends” will never fail you. It’s a classic and ageless TV sitcom for a reason.
4. Find your new passion.
It might be cliché but one of the best ways to cope up with a romantic breakup is to make yourself busy with things you can enjoy. Get your butt moving! Do something that will make you happy, relax and forget time for a while. It could be as simple as doing a workout that can tone your arms, going back to playing the guitar, or even gardening.
Some crafts or hobbies you never thought you can enjoy are worth-trying right now. Journaling is one, as you can try writing your feelings out. And you can do it with this minimalist journal notebook by The Lula Club, the brand that YouTube influencers Rei Germar, Ry Velasco, Hazel Quing and Jammy Cruz recently launched:
DIYs are cute too. Try creating a bracelet or even a facemask strap made out of beads. Apparently, beads are back and cool again. A lot of people actually turned their bracelet-making hobby into a business. How cool would it be if you could turn your heartbreak into an enterprise?
5. Spend time with your loved ones.
When you were in a relationship, majority of your time was probably spent with your ex. Now that you have all the freedom again, it is time to give your attention to those who truly love you like your family, friends, roommates and even your pets if you have some! You should take this time as an opportunity to bond with them and do things you could not do back then. You can improve your family relationships and home life while you are at it.
Exercising with your roomies or sibs could be fun. Sweat it out in this Non-Slip Yoga mat from KOOL.
Projectors put less strain in your eyes so instead of watching from a television, you could enjoy movie nights with your fam with this portable projector from Shopee.
Are you a member of the “Home Buddies” Facebook group? If so, you might have seen these trending acrylic organizers! Check it out now and enjoy organizing your kitchen pantry with your family!
6. Lastly, LOVE YOURSELF!
After a breakup, you might realize that you were not loving yourself as you should. You might get overwhelmed with the things that are currently happening to you. But please don’t forget the most important thing in this world: yourself! Take the time to go back to the essence of your being. It takes efforts, time, and a lot of self-introspection, but you can start by pampering yourself and treating yourself like the queen that you are!
Time to take care of your skin and level up your glow. Get that Korean glass skin with this skin care set from Innisfree:
Indulge in those simple pleasures that you absolutely love. This Freshman Coffee Capsule Machine from B Coffee Co. is a cheaper option among coffee machines, yet does an excellent job in giving you your home coffee bar dreams! P.S: Just wait during the sale to get it for 500 pesos less!
If you have a budget, this iPad Air 4th Generation might be a perfect gift for yourself! Aside from using it for social media and binge-watching series and movies, you could use this to write notes for school or work too. This is the best laptop alternative. It’s handy and it comes in cute pastel colors!
With the current pandemic we’re all dealing with right now, breakups could be even more challenging. It is just harder to cope up with our problems these days. But do know that everything will be okay in time. Don’t rush and force yourself to immediately move on, as some feelings take time to heal from. Use this time to learn how to love yourself more. You will get through this.